An Online Al-Anon Email Meeting 

Sanity and Serenity

How do I sense spiritual guidance in my life? Well, the Serenity Prayer and filling in the what I must accept, have courage to change and for the wisdom to know I can really only change me.

If I find spiritual guidance in my choices when I do not have the fear, nervousness and or insanity fill me when I make a decision. If all is well inside me, I know it is what my HP is guiding me to do.

When I make decisions and have a great deal of discomfort and fear with it, it means I am pushing my will and not asking for and following my HP's will. (Doesn't mean I change my mind, I still have that need to be right - regardless of the situation. [big grin]. Then I put it in my "what did you learn here, Karen?" pile.)

Where I Need to Be

Case in point: this weekend I was fighting with my husband, packed up my dog and myself and headed off to the state park to swim and detach. Got there, realized that I had left my purse and cash at home, found in my ashtray the $4.00 it took to get in, the last of it being in pennies, but I took that as a sign from my HP that it was where I needed to be at the time. And He was right!

Sanity and serenity go hand in hand in my life now. Before I thrived on chaos, or so it seemed, as I continued to chose it in my life. I remember my first fleeting moments of serenity after joining the program, and how I clung to them as a life line.

is what I wanted in my life, and I was ready to do what needed to be done to get it. Now, I wish I could say that I am always serene and I never relapse into my old behaviors, but we all know better.

Progress Not Perfection

The difference today is that I know the choices I have, I know what I need to do, and if I do slip back into my old "funk"- it is okay, we strive for progress not perfection. I can definitely see the progress I have made, and I am proud of myself and grateful for the program that guided me along the way.

My thoughts were always distorted, however just prior to meeting my husband, I was learning some new ways to live, not in the program, but notheless a beginning to my journey here (my HP setting me up for when I would be ready to accept the program ).

When he relapsed, I talked to counselors, I took him with me to mine, and was told he was okay. Well, it took a terrible incident to get the help needed, and at last I knew I was not wrong about it.

Spiritual Guidance

What I was wrong about was that it was only his problem that caused problems in our relationship. When I started going to meetings, and listening to others, I learned just how distorted my thoughts were about , not him.

Hmmmmm... which really leads back to spiritual guidance, my HP got me ready for Al-Anon, gave me the "kick in the pants" to get me there, and has loved and guided me throughout my program.


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