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Powerless Over Alcoholism

When I joined Al-Anon, March 14, 1997, the first thing I did was get a sponsor who I knew would help keep me on track. I wasn't new to the steps, but I was new to Al-Anon. I had known my sponsor for years and considered him one of the winners. The first thing he suggested I do was get a journal book and write done my steps, starting with 1.

This is what I wrote in my first month in Al-Anon on the 1st Step.

"Powerless Means - People, Places and Things, I can't make them do anything they don't want to do, and if I do, the results won't be what I wanted or long-lasting. I can't force my will.

Setting Boundaries

I can however set my own boundaries as to what is, and what isn't acceptable to me for my health, wellbeing and serenity.

Unmanageable Means - Continuous frustration because I don't have the power to control everything or the need to. The Chess pieces of life are not stationary, nor are they Black & White. Life is in a constant fluid motion. Don't fight the current and don't forget the Beauty of Gray.

Perspective, Focus, Goals and My Serenity - When I'm trying to control things that aren't mine to control, my perspective is out of balance, I loss focus of my objectives and goals, I forget my part in things and HP's part (Balance) and I have no serenity.

Taking Baby Steps

When I'm busy doing what ain't mine to do, what is mine to do doesn't get done.

Knowing these things didn't mean I practiced them very well. I had to hit bottom before I started to know these things in my heart. I had to grow one step at a time. For a long time I think I crawled, know I am taking baby steps and learning that it's OK if I fall, I can get up and move forward on day at a time.

Knowing these steps and accepting them on an intellectual level does me no good until I am able to know them in my heart.

When I take that chance, miracles happen.

Lynn C.

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