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A Clean Slate

We have begun a new year but I have to remind myself that it too will pass "one day at a time". A year ago I was trying to envision what the year would have in store for me. Who could have 'thunk' it?

I celebrated my first year in Al-Anon January 19, 1999. I didn't know that when my head was in a whirl. I knew I wanted to make some changes, but I didn't know they were in me. I thought, "if I could just change the...", you all know how that story goes.

I was sort of plodding along, one day mixing into the next, and then the next. I couldn't separate one day from the previous. The weeks would pass and they all seemed the same. Then I walked into my 1st f2f meeting!

Starting Fresh Today

Now, "one day at a time" has an entirely different meaning. It's not the same as yesterday, nor will it be the same as tomorrow. I still have to remind myself that TODAY is a clean slate. I have today to start fresh.

If I am not careful I waste all of my todays by troubling myself with the mistakes I made yesterday. Instead, I try to end each day with making "mental amends" and talking with my H.P. In that way, I can awaken to the day I will work a little harder at having fewer "mental amends" to make at the end.

Shortly after joining this wonderful fellowship I heard the following:

Yesterday is history,
Tomorrow is a mystery,
Today is a gift from God...
That's why it's called, The Present.

For me, it's ok to remember the mistakes I made as long as I do so only as a learning tool; in that way I hope not repeat them. I can also plan for the future, as long as I don't plan the outcome (I heard that here and love it!) Today is the only time I have to be actively working on myself. NOT yesterday, NOT tomorrow, TODAY.

I can't say I will make the most of TODAY. With God's guidance, I will do what is necessary, but if I don't get 'it' all done, hopefully I will have tomorrow to work on 'it' some more.

Today, I want the Serenity of acceptance and the Courage to change. Unlike a year ago, Today I know the change has to be in me and that takes a lot of courage.

Roland in Central Oregon

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